Why Motivation Isn’t About Carrots and Sticks
We’ve all been there: chasing a bonus, a grade, or some shiny prize. At first, it feels exciting. But sooner or later, the spark fades. Why? Because rewards can push us forward in the moment — but they rarely keep us going for the long haul.
What really fuels us isn’t external stuff at all. It’s something deeper.
Grit: The Power of Showing Up (Again and Again)
Psychologist Angela Duckworth calls it grit — perseverance and passion for long-term goals.
Grit isn’t about sprinting to the finish line. It’s about showing up, again and again, even when it’s hard. As Duckworth says, “the joy is in the pursuit more than the realization.”
Think about it: the people we admire most don’t just chase goals — they fall in love with the process.
Why Your Goals Might Be Selling You Short
Not all goals are created equal.
Performance goals (like hitting a sales target or getting an A) are about looking good and proving yourself. They can motivate you… but only for a while.
Learning goals (like mastering a new skill) are about growth. They fuel curiosity and resilience.
When you shift from asking “What can I achieve?” to “What can I learn?”, everything changes.
The Three Things We All Need
Psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan’s Self-Determination Theory is simple but powerful. We all crave three things:
Competence – to feel skilled and capable.
Autonomy – to have control over our choices.
Relatedness – to feel connected to others.
When those needs are met, motivation isn’t forced — it flows.
Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic: Which Type Are You?
Daniel Pink, in his book Drive, talks about two types of motivation:
Type X – driven by external rewards (money, titles, recognition).
Type I – driven by internal rewards (growth, purpose, curiosity).
Here’s the question to ask yourself: Does what gets you out of bed in the morning come from the inside or the outside?
Autonomy, Mastery, Purpose: The Real Game Changers
According to Pink, the secret sauce of lasting motivation comes down to three things:
Autonomy: When we choose how we work, we care more about what we do.
Mastery: Engagement creates progress, and progress creates mastery.
Purpose: When our work matters, energy takes care of itself.
The Problem With Rewards
Sure, rewards feel good in the moment. But they can also:
Kill creativity.
Lower performance.
Encourage shortcuts and even cheating.
Crowd out good behavior.
Make us addicted to the next “hit” of recognition.
Keep us stuck in short-term thinking.
They’re like sugar — a quick buzz, followed by a crash.
Final Thoughts: Choose Growth Over Gold Stars
The truth is, motivation doesn’t come from carrots and sticks. It comes from meaning.
When you design your life around autonomy, mastery, and purpose, you stop chasing motivation — it starts chasing you.
So the next time you’re setting a goal, ask yourself: Am I doing this for the medal, or for the meaning?
